Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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