Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
