At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Green mimosas i think yes
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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