he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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