i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
