I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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