I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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