Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
