Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
