How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
