Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
