And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
