There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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