The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
