in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
