You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
