I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
