goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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