Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
