he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
