We're like a lot better than the average bears
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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