Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
