is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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