I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My dick has a subreddit
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
