that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
