Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
