whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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