not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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