Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
