Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
