I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
