How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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