whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Let's get the cat blown out
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
