ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
