oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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