He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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