it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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