i don't like sucking hair
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
