the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
