dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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