so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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