My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize