nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
