No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I have tasted many bathrooms
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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