I think i peed on brittanys purse
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
