Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
