she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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