dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize