Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
