Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
