We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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