can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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