Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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