Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
