is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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