i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
