I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
