Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
