Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
