What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
