Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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