i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
