taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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