You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
