i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize