I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
40s are totally the cure
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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