I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Life is so much better after having sex.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
