STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
