And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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