That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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