Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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