Don't you send me to vm
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
MIDGETS
????
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize