just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
